PUNS

WHAT IS A PUN ? 

A Play on Words. A word or words that have more than one meaning.

Examples:

" My girlfriend criticised my appartment, so I knocked her flat"

Meaning: The pun was created by alluding to the fact that the word " flat " could have meant "an appartment", or alluded to the girlfriend being " knocked flat" on her back.

1. I recently spent money on detergent to unclog my kitchen sink. It was money down the drain.

2. Our social studies teacher says that her globe means the world to her.

3. A jury is never satisfied with the verdict. The jury always returns it.

4. Sir Lancelot once had a very bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.

5. A dog not only has a fur coat but also pants.

6. Today I've got a pressing engagement. I must go to the cleaners.

7. The principal part of a horse is the mane, of course.

8. Having lots of good cookbooks only makes sense. They contain such stirring events.

9. If you want to make a pun from dunlop. Then lop off the lop and the pun is dun.

10. I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.

11. I work as a baker because I knead dough.

12. What is the difference between a conductor and a teacher?

The conductor minds the train and a teacher trains the mind. 

 More suggestions:

in Seine

Taiwan (tie one)

newly weds (newly webs)

Tylenol (tile and all)

patients (virtue/doctors' patients)

appeal (a peel)

Lettuce (let us)

seasons (salt and pepper or Holiday)

ice day/nice day

well

sew/so

comb (rooster's comb/people's comb)

mahogany (wood/ my hog any --more)

spell of weather (spell as in incorrect spelling/spell of wethir)

" SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT LAUGHTED MAKES ONE WEAK "
"Gone Chopin, Bach in a Minuet" ( a music teacher may leave this note on his door )
"Dogma- I am god" ( Palindrome-spelled the same backwards or forwards )
 " I returned from Japan, " Tom said disorientedly.

OXIMORONS

All alone

Military Intelligence

Minor miracle

Clearly confused 
Original copies
A little big
A new classic 

SPOONERIMS
 " WELL - BOILED ICICLE = WELL- OILED BYCICLE